Better to Reign
by Psychee
Summary: Dean and Sam attempt to take the fight to Lilith but first they must overcome a few problems, such as finding her and coming to an understanding with each other.
1. Chapter 1

Dean and Sam attempt to take the fight to Lilith but there are several problems that must be solved along the way--such as once again finding each other.

Special thanks to Insane Troll Logic for editing, suggestions and reminding me that less is more. The story continues from where Avoidance left off but it is not necessary to read that first.

From Avoidance-

"_Hey, don't worry about it, Sam. Why don't you go back inside and get some sleep. No reason that both of us should be up."_

"_Dean?"_

"_Sam, really, just go back inside. I want to stay out here a while longer."_

_The only thing that he could do for his brother right now was to leave him alone._

_So he did._

Better to Reign

_Adam and Lilith never found peace together; for when he wish to lie with her, she took offence at the recumbent posture he demanded. "Why must I lie beneath you?" she asked. "I also was made from dust and am therefore your equal."_

Hebrew Myths-The Book of Genesis

Chapter 1

Bobby had called Dean after midnight but the Winchesters didn't get on the road until just before dawn. The roughly sixteen hour drive would have them at the salvage yard a few hours before midnight.

"And Bobby didn't say anything except that he had something he wanted to talk to us about?"

"For the tenth time, Sam, that's all he said. I'm not holding out on you."

Dean turned the tape player's volume up, singing off key to CCR. It was an only slightly desperate attempt to drown out any more questions from his bother and his own depressing thoughts.

Sam grimaced at the noise blaring from the speakers and pulled his Ipod from the glove compartment. He snuggled the ear buds as deep in his ears as he could. The only communication exchanged for the remainder of the trip was basic questions such as do you want to stop to get something to eat—take a leak—stretch your legs? It only emphasized the uneasy silence between them.

SNSNSNSNSN

By the time the Impala headed up the winding dirt drive to Bobby's house, both Winchesters were tired from the long drive and even more exhausted from trying to maintain the uneasy silence between them. When they finally stopped the car and looked at the warm yellow lights coming from the slightly run down house, both were more than ready to put a little distance between themselves, even if it was only the space of an extra chair at the table.

Sam put his hand on the door handle preparing to get out when he felt a light touch on his shoulder. He swiveled his head around to look at this brother.

"Sam," Dean said looking more than a little uncomfortable, "Don't tell Bobby, okay."

"About my psychic mojo?"

Dean shook his head. "About what I told you about Hell. I don't want him to know. No reason he should."

"Dean, Bobby's our friend. Don't you think he would want to know?"

"He'd only feel sorry for me, which I don't deserve or…" Dean cleared his throat nervously, "I don't want him to be disappointed in me."

"I won't say anything."

Dean gave a sigh of relief and favored his brother with a small smile. "Thanks, bro. Now that you bring it up, though, it might not be a bad idea to totally gloss over the psychic mojo stuff. I know that Bobby would understand but he is a hunter and you using demon powered exorcisms might not go over too well. Let's not stress him out."

"I wasn't planning on telling him. You're not the only one that doesn't want Bobby disappointed in them."

"Sammy, Bobby could never be disappointed with you. You got that whole geek brotherhood thing going on."

Sam looked at his brother quizzically. "You think Bobby's a geek?"

Dean laughed. "Bobby's got more reference books than the Library of Congress. If that doesn't qualify him for geekdom, then I don't know what would."

Sam nodded slowing as if filing a new fact away. "I guess he is a geek. I never thought about him that way before."

"The way I see it, you and Bobby will probably be getting your geek on while I'll be outside changing the oil in the Impala or sent on errands so I'll stay out of your hair. You and Bobby always did have a lot in common. Well, let's get out of here. I've been sitting so long my ass is numb."

The Winchesters didn't even make it to the door before it opened and Bobby came out with a revolver in one hand and a silver flask in the other. He handed the flask to Dean, who took it and with a salute took a big swig… and promptly spit it out all over the front steps. "What the hell, Bobby! What's this? Cat piss?"

Bobby laughed and pounded Dean on the back as he continued to cough and gag. "Something like that. Come on son, you really think I'd waste good holy water on you? I figure if you got angels still hanging around, no way you could be possessed."

Bobby glanced at Sam and held the flask out. "How about you, boy, you want a drink?"

Sam smiled and pushed the flask away. "If it's all the same to you, Bobby, I think I'll pass."

"Smart kid. Come on, get your butts inside and I'll pour us some of the good stuff."

Bobby sat the bottle of Jack and three glasses on the table before he took his chair. He poured a shot in each glass. "Well," Bobby began, "depending on what mythology you want to believe, Lilith either started out as a night demon or human—first wife of Adam. If we go with the latter, it seems she wasn't happy being subservient to a man, especially in the bedroom. So she ran away and..ah..knew Lucifer."

"So she met up with him?" Dean asked.

Sam and Bobby both rolled their eyes. "No, Dean, she _knew_ him," Sam stressed.

Dean looked at them blankly. "Yeah, they knew each other before he got locked behind the seals."

Bobby gave an exasperated huff. "She was his consort, you idiot. They had sex!"

Dean mouthed a silent "oh," then suddenly smirked. "If Lilith and the Big Bad got down and dirty, bet they weren't using the missionary position."

Bobby and Sam stifled a groan. "As I was sayin'," Bobby continued, "Lilith got together with the original Fallen and became the mother of demons. It seems she may have also been the original succubus, preying on men at night. Her leisure time activities included sneaking unto children's bedrooms and killing them. She became known as the seducer of men and the destroyer of children. A talisman inscribed with the names of three angels was said to provide protection from her."

The idea of demons seducing men made Sam uneasy, though he really never made a conscious connection between a succubus and a regular demon seducing a man. He didn't want his mind to wander in that direction so he nudged it back on topic.

"Bobby," Dean's voice was thoughtful, "Holy water didn't work on ol' Yellow Eyes and Ruby's knife didn't work on another demon we came across. Do you suppose the weapons we've found are demon-type specific? Like maybe the knife and holy water only work demons that are made in Hell, those that used to be human. That these weapons won't work on demons that were born in Hell or that…ah…fell."

"It's possible." Bobby slowly nodded. "That would seem to make sense given what I've read of Hell's hierarchy. Most demons would be those that used to be human and had their souls stripped and corrupted. There would be much fewer that were never human but were born soulless in the Pit. Only a handful, hopefully, would be some of the most powerful: the original fallen angels."

"Then what kind of demon would Lilith be?" Sam wondered. "She was human but chose Hell rather than was sent there. She seemed to be afraid of the colt, at least she didn't want us to have it. I wonder if a regular exorcism would even work on her or if a devil's trap would hold her?

"We have to be able to stop Lilith, Bobby. How else can we keep her from breaking the seals? I wonder if there's a way to find the colt?"

"I've been looking for it, Sam, but so far it seems that when Bela gave it to Lilith, it disappeared. I may have had a break on Lilith though. I've been in contact with a Rabbi that teaches at Baltimore Hebrew University and is considered one of the foremost authorities on Hebrew mythology in general and on Lilith in particular. If anyone might know something about how to stop her, it would be him. He's already agreed to photocopy and e-mail me part of a scroll that shows how to write the names of the three angels. Once I get that, I can get started on protection talismans."

"How did you arrange that that? I can't imagine you telling him that Armageddon was coming and we need to know how to stop a demon." Dean didn't like involving non-hunters in their world. It was too dangerous for them and once their eyes were opened to what was in the dark, they could never really feel safe again. He didn't like taking that last bit of illusion away from people.

"I told him I was doing research for a book on demons and he would get an acknowledgment as a source if I could pick his brains. He seemed to think it would be good publicity for the university if the book would get published. In the meantime I thought I'd try to find out more about the seals. If we know where or what they are, we can figure out what our next move should be. I got some promising leads while I was down in the Caribbean." Looking at the Winchesters' identical smirks, Bobby got defensive. "Well, what the hell, did you think I was doing down there, hanging out on a sandy beach in a banana hammock?"

Sam looked away quickly but Dean only smiled brighter.

"Humph," Bobby growled and shook his head to hide his amusement. "Anyway, that's why I asked you here. With your help, I should have a couple of talismans made in a couple of days and by then I might be able to tell you where a couple of seals may be. 'Course the problem being the talisman is supposed to only work on Lilith and we don't have any way to test it. Least wise no safe way."

"We could ask Ruby," Sam reluctantly suggested.

Dean gave Sam an angry glare. "No."

"Dean, she probably would know whether or not…"

"Sam, has she volunteered any information on how to stop Lilith other than…." Dean waved his hands around, not wanting to get into what Sam had been up to over the time he was gone in front of Bobby.

"No, but…"

"If she knew something, she would have told you if she was the ally you want to make her out to be. She would have laid out some different options."

Sam got a stubborn look on his face that clearly told Dean that this wasn't over.

Dean sighed in frustration and shook his head. "It's near midnight and I'm beat. I'm heading up to bed." He stood and headed for the stairs.

Sam and Bobby remained sitting at the table staring at their drinks. Once Dean's steps could no longer be heard on the stairs, Bobby turned to Sam. "You want to tell me what that was about?"

Sam continued to stare at his glass. He then lifted it and drank all the burning liquor down in one long swallow. "No, not really."

Bobby sat still a minute, nodded and stood, taking his and Dean's glasses to the sink.

"Bobby," Sam said sounding contrite. "I need to apologize."

Bobby shifted around to look at the younger Winchester. "No need to apologize boy. None of my business."

"No, not about," Sam waved his hand around the table, "this, about before."

"Before?"

"After Dean…after we buried…I'm sorry I didn't stick around. I was in a bad way."

"We both were. Would've been nice to know you weren't laying in a ditch somewhere bleeding out. You didn't want to stick around, fine but you could have at least returned a phone call. I may not have been much use, but I could have helped some." Bobby didn't even realize how pissed he was at the young man until the words started coming out of his mouth.

"I know. That…I think that's why I didn't call. I didn't want any help. I wanted to…I just wanted Dean."

Although Sam's face was carefully neutral, Bobby thought he could see the glistening of unshed tears. The boy was still hurting and he didn't have it in him to stay angry. He walked back to the table and put a comforting hand on Sam's shoulder. With a weary sigh he gave it a little squeeze. "I know. Don't worry about it no more, Sam, it's all water under the bridge. Besides we got him back."

"Yeah, we got him back."

Bobby noted that Sam still looked like he was barely holding back tears. His mood should have lightened at the thought of having his brother back but it hadn't. What the hell was going on with these two? He squeezed Sam's shoulder hard, just to get his attention.

"I changed my mind, it is my business. What the hell is going on?"

Sam looked up and met Bobby's eyes. All he saw there was concern. Quickly looking down at the table, he muttered, "It's all fucked up, Bobby."

"Sam, aren't you happy to have your brother back?"

Sam looked up again startled. "Yes, god yes, that was all I wanted…I thought that was all I wanted…the whole time he was in Hell. It's just…while he was gone…" Sam hesitated wondering how to explain himself.

"Spit it out boy! The nights not getting any younger and neither am I."

"Ruby came back a month or so after Dean died. She started helping me, tried to keep me from self destructing."

Bobby shook his head. "Sam."

"No, listen Bobby," Sam continuing almost desperately, "after I finally realized that I couldn't make a deal for Dean and there were no spells that would bring him back, all I could think of was finding and killing the demon responsible for him being in Hell. I wanted to get Lilith and Ruby was more than willing to help. She was helping me and we were hunting down and destroying demons right and left. We took out more demons in a few months than Dean and I did all last year."

"Good Lord, please tell me that you didn't say that to your brother."

Sam dropped his eyes and said reluctantly, "It might have come up."

Bobby took off his ball cap and rubbed his head tiredly. "Dean get the idea that you would rather be hunting with a demon than with him?"

"It's not that I would rather be hunting with Ruby than with Dean. That's not the point."

"Then get to the point."

"Dean doesn't want Ruby helping anymore. He doesn't want her around. She's helpful, Bobby. She can tell us things about other demons; where they are, their strengths and weaknesses. I just don't think that with the way things are going we should just ignore a possible asset." Sam started to fiddle with his glass. "It's become a running disagreement. What it comes down to is that Ruby can get me closer to destroying Lilith and I don't want to let that chance slip through my fingers."

"So, tell me Sam, what would you give to get to Lilith?"

"Anything, Bobby, what ever it takes."

"Even your brother?"

"No, of course not!"

"Well that's not what you said Sam. You said anything and boy, I believe that's what you meant. Hell, when did you become your daddy?"

Sam sat up straighter and his jaw hardened. "The whole world might literally be going to Hell, maybe being more like dad is exactly how I should be."

"I've know you since you were little more than a rug rat drooling and teething on my end table. I watched you go from a curious child into a rebellious teen. Saw the fights you had with your daddy about the life he gave you versus the life you wanted. Saw you before you left and after you came back, but I never thought I'd see the day that you would chose a demon over your own brother."

"It's not like that," Sam said, even though he guiltily thought it was exactly like that.

"Boy, all those fights you had with your daddy, what were they all about when you got right to the root of it?

Sam thought a minute; sure that he was being lead into a trap. "That he put the hunt and his need for revenge on the thing that killed mom ahead of me and Dean."

Bobby nodded. "Your daddy loved you boys, can't deny that but he would get so caught up in finding and killing every supernatural son of a bitch out there that he would forget the most important thing: family. Apparently the only one that never forgot that is Dean."

"I am putting family first. I'm doing this for Dean!" Sam raised his voice in anger.

"How is hanging with a black hearted bitch doing anything for Dean?" Bobby yelled back.

"Lilith held Dean's contract. She's the reason he suffered for forty years in the Pit. For that alone, she deserves to be killed, not sent back to Hell but destroyed. What if she tries to claim him again? To protect him, I have to track her down and take care of her. Ruby can help me do that."

Bobby tried to listen but the only thing he heard was forty years. "Four months, Sam, not forty years. He was gone four months."

Sam snapped his mouth shut quickly, only realizing his slip when Bobby pointed it out. Dean had asked him not to tell Bobby but if Bobby really knew what his brother had been through, maybe he would be more sympathetic to Sam's decision and maybe, just maybe, he could tell Sam how to help his brother cope. "He remembers, Bobby, he remembers it all. He told me that four months up here was more like forty years down there."

"Damn" Bobby murmured softly.

"Exactly, now you know why she has to pay and Ruby can help me make that happen."

"Yeah, son, maybe she can but don't kid yourself that you're doing this for your brother. You're doing this for you. This is your quest for revenge every bit as much as going after that thing that killed your momma was your daddy's." Bobby sighed heavily and stood. "I'm going on up. Make sure everything is locked up."

Sam didn't watch Bobby leave. He clasped his hands together on the table. After a few minutes he lowered his head and rested it on top of them. Over the last few years he had come to understand his father better. He respected the man's tenacity, drive and dedication to the hunt more now than he ever had while John had been alive. He was finally able to empathize with him.

But he certainly didn't want to be him.

Dean and Bobby had been stuffing him full of uncomfortable truths. That didn't mean he wanted to swallow them. He was afraid that if he tried he might choke.

tbc


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I certainly don't own the rights to Supernatural and no copyright infringement is intended.

Again, Thank you to Insane Troll Logic for editing and suggesting.

Better to Reign

_And the Lord said unto Cain, Where is Abel thy brother? And he said, I know not: Am I my brother's keeper? Genesis Chapter 4, verse 9_

Chapter 2

Dean sat on a park bench. The day was unusually warm for the first of November. The sunshine attracted young children to the swings and still green grassy lawn where they ran in joyous abandon. The cacophony of laughter was soothing to his ears, especially when not very long ago he was hearing tortured screams. The sun on his face made the ingrained chill in his bones start to thaw—just a little. He leaned back and tilted his head up. The children were alive to play today because of him. He had asked the angels not to destroy the town, promising that he and Sam would stop Samhain from rising; a Seal from breaking.

They had failed. The Seal was broken. Samhain rose. Sam used his Azazel bestowed powers-which he had promised not to use--to exorcise the ancient demon. Then Castiel told him it was a test and he had no idea if he passed or failed. If he failed and continued to fail, would he be sent back to Hell? If he was sent back, what would happen to Sam? He wondered how many Seals were left.

At least the children were laughing and playing. He took some small comfort from that.

"Many take comfort in the special joy that only a child can bring. Their laughter is sweeter than any song sung by a chorus of angels."

Dean glanced to the side at the speaker. Castiel sat stiffly beside him, eyes intent on the joyful chaos of children playing. Dean was suddenly struck by a powerful feeling of deja-vu and he knew. "I'm dreaming aren't I?"

"It's easier to speak with you this way," the angel replied, never taking his eyes from the scene unfolding in front of him.

"I don't like you playing around in my head."

"While I am here, this dream will continue. Would you rather dream different dreams, Dean?"

Dean stared at Castiel for a second and then shut his eyes and lifted his face back toward the warmth of the sun. The silence stretched out between them. Whatever Castiel was here to say to him, he didn't seem to be in any hurry to say it. Dean abruptly asked, "Is Anna all right?"

The angel smiled only slightly. "Our Father loves all his children."

Dean frowned. "That doesn't really answer my question. Did she get in trouble for choosing to fall? Is she being punished?"

"Do you know the story of the prodigal son?"

Dean searched his memory of the times he and Sam had stayed with Pastor Jim. "I think so. Young dude wants to sow some wild oats so he takes an early inheritance from his dad and heads for the big city. He parties hardy, losses all his money, swallows his pride and crawls back home just hoping for some warm scraps of food and a place to stay out of the rain. Instead of being angry, his dad welcomes him back and throws a big party to celebrate. His older brother, who had stayed home and worked hard on the farm, was a little pissed that the little snot had deserted them for some fun and then came back and was welcomed like nothing had happened."

"In essence, that is the basic story. Since you know the story, you understand what happened to Anna. She was welcomed back, her sins forgiven." He sighed, "Still that doesn't mean that there were not consequences for her choices."

"She would have gone back earlier but that prick Uriel had her Grace and didn't want her to have it back. He wanted her to be punished."

"Uriel has been troubled, barely skirting blasphemy and has been called into account for his behaviors."

"Yeah, well, he deserves everything he gets and probably a lot more." Dean was still angry that Uriel had wanted to destroy the town where the witch that raised Samhain had lived. Angry that Uriel had threatened first Sam and later him and that he had kept Anna's Grace from her. He couldn't see much difference between Uriel and a demon.

"Judge not least you be judged Dean," Castiel said with a bite. "My brother may have many flaws but these arise from frustration and anger. For millennia Uriel was tasked with destroying whole towns and cities in order to save whole areas or states, much as a surgeon might sometimes need to cut off a limb to save a body. He had to harden his heart to Man to perform these tasks. Over time, seeing Mans' treatment toward other men, seeing how they used their free will to chose evil and having to scour the earth clean of their filth, he could no longer see and appreciate the beauty of our Father's youngest children.

"His anger turned toward Anna for she deserted her brothers and sisters in a time of great need. She choose to become Man and she turned away from our Father. He could conceive of no greater transgression." Castiel sighed softly. "He also now faces the consequences of his actions. I greatly fear that in his pride, he may chose to Fall rather than humble himself."

Dean considered what Castiel said and slowly shook his head. "Brothers, huh, a real pain in the ass but what can you do, they're still family."

Castiel nodded in agreement. "The prodigal son, no matter what they do, they are still family and we love them."

"Sam's still messing with a demon. He doesn't want to listen to me."

"My brother wanted to raise his hand against his sister rather than welcome her home. We do the best we can do to turn them toward the light, to stop them from following a path that will lead to darkness and pain, but in the end it's their choice and we can not take it from them."

"If you try to hurt Sam, to stop him, I'll fight you," Dean said. "No matter what he's done or what he's into, he's still my brother."

Castiel met Dean's declaration with silence.

Dean turned to watch the children run. "Why are you here anyway?"

"I am here for two reasons. One is to tell you that you are on the right path. The talisman that your friend will make will protect who wears it from Lilith. Remember to tell him the writing must be from right to left, as originally written, and that the proper prayers must be said with pure intent."

"Couldn't you just have told us this instead of us fumbling in the dark? Seems you knew about the talisman. What else can you tell us? Maybe give up a little heads up?"

"I am allowed to interfere or offer guidance only in certain matters and only to a certain extent."

"Why? You want us to win don't you? Right now the other players seem to be holding all the cards. Why don't you just tell me where to go and what you want me to do? Make it easy on both of us."

"I am a soldier not a general. I do not know the entire plan. I can not tell you what you should do. Still I have faith that you will do that which is right."

"Wish I had that faith," Dean muttered.

"So do I," Castiel replied.

"Okay, you've told me one reason that you're here, what was the other?"

"So that you might find some rest in your…."

"….sleep all day?" Bobby said loudly from the doorway. "It's going on toward one in the afternoon. Get your lazy ass up and come downstairs for some lunch. You missed breakfast, it was over hours ago."

Dean cracked one eye open, yawned and stretched.

"Come on, sleeping beauty, up and at 'em."

"Give me a few, Bobby. I'll be down in a sec."

"Coffee will be ready when you get there. Feel like BLT's? Got plenty of bacon left over from breakfast."

"Sounds great, thanks. Hey Bobby, where's Sam?"

"That email I was waiting for came through this morning. I sent Sam into town to pick up a few supplies. Didn't have everything I needed to pull off the amulet. Who would have thought it had to be made of gold? He should be back within the hour."

Dean nodded and Bobby turned and headed back downstairs. Dean stretched and realized he actually felt rested. Last night was the first night that was totally untroubled by nightmares that he could remember since crawling out of his own grave. "Owe you another one, I guess," he said softly as he proceeded out of the bedroom and into the bathroom to get ready for the day.

Bobby was cutting up tomatoes for the sandwiches as Dean moseyed into the kitchen and poured himself a cup of coffee. The coffee was strong and hot, bitter on the tongue and tasted like heaven. Bobby cast a quick glance in Dean's direction. "I figure you and me can melt down the gold jewelry I sent Sam to the pawn shop to pick up and then cast it and inscribe the names in Aramaic. I got some books I want Sam to go through while we make the talismans. Found a third hand copy of the Devil's Codex and it seems to have several mentions of Seals in it. He might be able to track down a couple of likely places for them."

"Sounds like a plan," Dean murmured while savoring another swallow of the caffeinated brew.

Bobby nodded absently. "Just still worried about whether them things will work or not. No good way to test them until it would be too late to do anything about it."

"They'll work. Just remember to write backwards and to, ah, pray intently or something like that," Dead said as he filched a slice of bacon.

"Huh?" The older hunter turned to stare at the younger.

Dean chewed slowly with a thoughtful look on his face. "You remember I told you that it was an angel that pulled me out of Hell? Well, he shows up every now and then. Sometimes to talk or tell me to do something. Likes to do a little dream walking without the nasty tasting tea. Told me last night that we were on the right track and that the talisman would protect the wearer from Lilith's power but to remember to write the names from right to left and something about praying with pure intent."

"The text with the supposed angelic script that the names were written in had a prayer with it. Must need to recite it while making the talisman. Good to know that the talisman is the real deal. Feel a little better about letting you boys wear them knowing we got it straight from the horse's mouth that they'll work." Bobby brought the tomatoes, a head of lettuce and several slices of toast and set them on the table. "So what else this angel been telling you?"

"Oh, you know, this and that, respect him or get tossed back into Hell, God works in mysterious ways, do this, stop that." Dean started constructing his sandwich. "Don't really know why he bothers though, I've screwed up everything he's asked me to do."

"What?"

"Never mind, Bobby, really don't want to relive past failures."

Bobby began making his own lunch from the fixings on the table and both started to eat. He sneaked quick looks at Dean whenever he thought the older Winchester wasn't looking.

Dean was looking. He caught the sneaking glances. Suddenly, Dean brought his hand down sharply on the table, startling his scruffy host. "Sam said something didn't he? What did he tell you, Bobby? What did that lil' wuss say?"

"What are you talking about? What makes you think Sam told me anything?" Bobby tried to object but it sounded lame even to his ears.

"If he didn't say anything then why do you keep staring at me and looking like you're sucking on a lemon?"

Bobby sighed and shook his head. "Sam might have mentioned that you were in Hell a might longer than we thought and that you two idiots were having a hard time readjusting to hunting together."

"Hard time readjusting? Is that what he's calling it?" Dean said bitterly.

"Nope, that's what I'm calling it so just calm yourself down. Besides, I thought that you told me you didn't remember anything about Hell. Why would you lie to me about something like that? You think I'm not in this as deep as your brother?"

Dean took a deep breath. "When I showed up on your doorstep, fresh out of the grave, I didn't remember, at least nothing specific. Later, I starting dreaming about it and then when I caught the ghost sickness, it all came back. Everything. But there's nothing to tell. Time just passes differently in the Pit."

"Forty years worth of different?"

"Does it really matter? Four months or forty years, it was still Hell. I went 'cause I made a deal with a demon; lost my soul but got Sammy back. It was a fair deal.

"Want to know something funny, Bobby? I was afraid that Sam might try to make a deal with a demon to get me out but what I really should have been afraid of was that demon bitch Ruby making a move on Sam and making him some kind of pawn for whatever sick hell spawn game she's playing."

"Sam mentioned that he'd been working with that demon."

"Had been and still is…doesn't care what I think about it either."

"You sure he don't care?"

"Well, I asked him to dump her and he said no, so yeah, I'm pretty damn sure." Dean put his sandwich down, only half eaten. "Listen, I've lost my appetite. Think I'll go change the oil in the Impala. Let me know when you're ready to smelt the gold for the talisman."

Dean stood and headed for the door, pausing only to grab his coat. He opened the door to see Sam standing on the other side of the screen juggling a couple of large bags. "Lunch is on, I'm going out." He said shrugging past his brother.

Sam watched him as he retreated. Apparently the argument that started last night wasn't over. He looked over and saw Bobby standing in the doorway to the kitchen and shrugged.

"You boys have a big problem."

"Maybe I should go talk to him?"

"You gonna be saying anything different from the last few times you talked?"

Sam stared Bobby in the eyes and slowly shook his head.

"Then rehashing old arguments won't do anything but bring back up old hurts, leave him be for now. Eventually one of you stubborn sons of bitches are gonna have to give in or else…" Bobby sighed and turned away.

"Or else what, Bobby?"

"Or else you'll tear yourselves apart so bad that Lilith won't need to lift a hand because you'll already be broken."

tbc


	3. Chapter 3

Special thanks to Insane Troll Logic for editing and suggestions. I greatly appreciate her help. Also thanks to all those that put this on their story alert and those that reviewed.

Disclaimer: No copyright infringement is intended.

Better to Reign

_A friend loveth for all times and a brother is born for adversity-Proverbs 17:17_

Chapter 3

By burying themselves in work, the Winchesters were able to pretend that things were normal--at least normal according to the Winchester lexicon. Dean was particularly good at ignoring any elephants that might be in the room, even if they were stomping on his relationship with his brother.

Bobby set about making a mold for the talisman while Dean began melting down the gold jewelry that Sam had picked up at the pawn shop. Years spent melting and molding silver for bullets guaranteed that the task, while tedious, was fairly straight forward.

While Dean and Bobby busied themselves making the talisman, Sam read.

The brothers only saw each other in passing, not even sitting down to eat together. Although there were two twin beds in the room at Bobby's that had become theirs by default, one brother slept in the room while the other bunked out in the living room on the couch. Whoever went to bed first got the bed.

One day passed, then two.

On the evening of the third day, Dean sauntered into the kitchen and tossed a one inch by two inch square of dull yellow onto the page of the book Sam was studying; symbols adorned one side and it was strung from a leather thong. Sam picked up the talisman and studied the Aramaic letters.

"The names of three angels?"

"Senoy, Sansenov and Semangelof," Dean pronounced the names slowly, having difficulty with the foreign sounding syllables.

Sam raised an eyebrow and smiled slightly.

"Hey, they're a lot harder to say than Castiel, Uriel, and what-the-hell." He rubbed his eyes dramatically. "And I said that incantation so many times while I was melting, pouring, and inscribing that I'm gonna be hearing it in my sleep."

"It's not an incantation, Dean; it's a prayer, a prayer of protection."

"Incantation."

"Prayer."

"To-maa-toe, to-mah-toe," Dean smirked, feeling he'd made his point.

Stirring the last bit of seasoning into the chili he was making for dinner, Bobby huffed a quiet chuckle from over by the stove. It might not have been much in the way of banter but it was more than the boys had said to each other at one sitting since the night they'd arrived. He dished the meat and beans into a couple of bowls and set them on the table. He then carried his own bowl over and sat down. He glared at Sam until he closed the book and picked up his spoon then shifted his gaze to Dean.

Dean sat down, idly fingering a second talisman. "There was only enough gold for these two." He stared at it a moment longer before laying it down in front of Bobby and picking up his spoon.

Bobby picked it up and handed it back. "You're likely to need this more'n me. Going up against high level demons is a young man's hunt and you always seem determined to put yourself right in the line of fire. You take it and you wear it. I have other ways to protect myself."

Dean didn't reach for the talisman.

Bobby sighed. "Boy, if you want to be able to watch your brother's back, you're gonna need this, now take it."

Dean nodded reluctantly. He took the small gold tablet and slipped the leather thong over his head. It hid the face of the small horned god amulet that he always wore.

Sam tossed the talisman Dean had given him in front of Bobby. "I don't need it, Bobby, you wear it. If you're in with us on this, then you'll become a target too."

"Sam!"

"No, Dean, Bobby needs the talisman more than I do. Lilith can't hurt me with her power. She tried in New Harmony."

Dean stared at Sam a second and then looked over at Bobby. He dropped his eyes to his chili but didn't pick up his spoon. Bobby looked at the talisman and then slowly picked it up and slipped it over his head.

Sam cleared his throat to break the moment. "There's a lot of dark stuff in here and I don't know if it's accurate but if it is, the book I've been reading, the Devil's Codex, has a lot of information about the Seals. Apparently the Seals are like the tumblers on a lock. There are hundreds of Seals but only sixty-six need to be broken in order for the lock, or the door to Lucifer's prison, to open. However, they can be re-set if you know how to do it. I haven't gotten to that part yet. Mostly the writer is telling how to find and break the Seals.

"Most Seals aren't things or places but actions, like the raising of the Witnesses or the raising of Samhain. However, it seems that all the Devil's gateways are Seals. If they're opened in the right way at the right time, it breaks the Seal. There's a ritual that involves blood being spilled on the key that opens the gateway and if this is done on a solstice it will break the Seal."

"The next solstice is December twenty-first," Bobby said between bites.

"Exactly, if we go to a Devil's gateway at that time, there is a good chance we'll find Lilith there trying to break the Seal and she'll have to have the key. If we're lucky, we'll stop her, protect a Seal and get the colt back. We could stop the apocalypse. This could all be over in a couple of weeks."

"Looks like we'll be headed to Wyoming," Dean stated.

"You boys know it won't be that simple. There's got to be a lot of gateways to Hell. You don't know that the one in the cemetery in Wyoming will be where Lilith will show up. And if it is, it won't be one demon we go up against, it's likely gonna be a dozen or more if what she had in New Harmony is anything to go on. These talismans might, _might,_ protect us from Lilith's power but they're not gonna do a damn thing to stop those other sons of bitches from tearing us to shreds. Heading to the Devil's gate without some kind of plan to take care of them is plain suicide."

"We don't need a plan, Bobby," Dean said. "Samuel Colt already laid one down for us."

Bobby stoked his chin, clearly thinking about the possibility. "The iron railroad tracks laid out in the shape of a pentagram to protect the gate? I thought those tracks got busted by Jake as part of the grand scheme to let out a demon army."

"Just because a plan has some flaws, doesn't make it a bad plan. We get there early. Check the tracks, make a temporary repair, maybe with a consecrated iron chain; something that we can take off to let Lilith in and then replace to keep the other demons out. Isolate her and take her out. Once she's gone, the other demons probably won't hang around. If they do we take a cassette player and a pre-recorded tape, turn the volume up and do a mass exorcism, like we did in that police station in Colorado. The real question is how we take care of Lilith. I wonder if a Devil's trap will hold her or if Ruby's knife will work on her. It didn't on…on another higher level demon. Sam's…exorcism didn't work on him either."

Sam unconsciously rubbed at a small scar on his left arm. "I've been thinking about that…exorcism. We've run into something like that before, a demon not being affected by an exorcism."

"Meg?"

"Yeah, Dean, Meg. Maybe that demon had a binding mark too. That could explain why it didn't work. So maybe an exorcism will work on Lilith."

"Sammy, now you're thinking. We repair the iron pentagram, lay out a Devil's trap in front of the mausoleum and cover it with leaves, get Lilith to step in it and then exorcise her and send her back to Hell. Or, even better, since she seems to have a get-out-of-Hell-free card, get the colt or use the knife and kill her sorry ass."

Sam grinned to see his brother so enthusiastic but it was quickly gone because he knew how what he was going to say would go over. "Sounds like a plan. Still, it wouldn't hurt to have all the information we can get, like what does Lilith's current body look like, how many demons she might have with her, whether the knife will work on her. I could ask…my source. See what I can find out before we leave."

"No, Sam!"

"Dean it makes sense to go into this with all the information we can get. Like Bobby said to do less would be plain suicide. I just got you back and I'm not going to bury you again."

Dean shook his head. "Sam…"

"No, Dean, we need to be as informed as possible so we can be as prepared as we can be. If Lilith is going to be at the Wyoming gate on the solstice, and we do this right it can be over, finally over."

"It's never going to be over Sam." Dean stood and left the room.

Sam looked at Bobby who was watching Dean leave with a frown. "You understand don't you Bobby? Ruby might be able to tell me something that we can use."

Bobby attacked his chili with his spoon, stabbing it savagely. He didn't look up at Sam as he replied, "I understand it but that don't mean I like it."

*************

Sam borrowed a wreck that still ran from Bobby and headed into town. He knew better than to ask Dean to borrow the Impala. He didn't really have a way to contact Ruby but she always seemed to show up when he wanted to talk to her.

He walked around the small South Dakota town a bit before deciding to go and have a cup of coffee in a family run diner. He decided that if the coffee was good, he'd order a pie and take it back to Dean as a peace offering. He was half way through his second cup and eyeing the menu to decide what pie to get when a petite brunette slid into the booth opposite him.

"Hi Sam," the demon greeted him. "Short-stack decide to loosen the leash?"

"Ruby," Sam nodded to her. "I don't want you talking about my brother that way, okay?"

She smiled. "Then what do you want to talk about?"

"Lilith."

Ruby shook her head. "You're refusing to practice, Sam. If you can't take on a heavy hitter like Alistair then there's no way you're ready for the erstwhile queen of Hell."

"I think Alistair must have had a binding mark and that was why I couldn't exorcise him."

Ruby took a napkin and began to twist it. "Maybe but you still haven't been practicing and are no way ready for Lilith." She looked coyly at him from the corner of her eye. "I was hoping that you had come to your senses and wanted some more lessons, a little one-on-one training."

"Ruby, I promised myself that I was done with that, all of it."

"If you say so Sam," she said, dismissing the idea that he would stick to that promise. "So what do you want?"

"Do you know what Lilith looks like now? How many demons she has with her? Do you know if your knife will work on her or if a Devil's trap will contain her?"

"Gee, Sam, I don't really run in the same circles she does. Last I heard she was still favoring the Alice-in-Wonderland model and she never goes anywhere with less than a dozen bodyguards and lackeys. As for the knife, I'm not sure. Seems rather risky to try though considering how not dead it made Alistair."

"Do you know where she is?"

"No. I'm trying really hard to stay under her radar and so should you. You do still have the hex bag I made for you?"

Sam patted his jacket pocket.

"Make sure you keep it on you. Lilith still wants your head on a platter and there's a rumor that she wants your brother back too. Apparently she became very…fond…of him during his time as her guest."

"She can't have him back!" Sam hissed.

"Calm down, tiger, I'm just a messenger. But if you really wanted to protect him you'd be strengthening your abilities, not letting them go to pot."

"I'm not going to argue with you about that Ruby. I'm done with them."

"And what about me, Sam? You done with me too?"

"I still need you, Ruby. Need what you can tell me, maybe need your help."

Ruby pursed her lips. "If you aren't going to improve your psychic ability--the ability that would have eventually let you not just banish demons but control them--then what am I going to get out of this Sam? You get yourself killed; I'm left flapping in the wind."

"You still want to get rid of Lilith don't you?"

Ruby nodded.

Sam smiled, "Well I'm still your best bet. You give me the information that I need and I guarantee you, I will destroy her if it is the last thing I do. If you want more than that from me then you should leave now. I won't lead a demon army. I won't be using my power anymore. This _relationship_ will be on my terms, take it or leave it."

"What choice are you giving me, Sam? Still, the enemy of my enemy and all that." She stood turned to the door. "I'll be around. Oh, the devil's food cake here is to die for, much better than the pie."

****************

It was after nine and totally dark by the time Bobby's loaner clanked up the drive to park behind the house. Sam pocketed the keys and grabbed the boxed pie out of the seat. Walking around to the front door, he noticed Dean sitting on the steps in the dark.

"Waiting up for me?"

"Just wanted to make sure that piece of crap Bobby let you drive made it back."

Sam sat down beside his brother and put the box on Dean's lap. "Got me there and back in one piece. I brought you some pie-Dutch apple." There was enough light from the house for Sam to see that the gift made his brother smile.

"Thanks, man."

"Thought I owed it to you after, you know, ruining your appetite at dinner."

"I would say that it wasn't your fault but you'd take back the pie." Dean looked down and started fiddling with the box. "Sam, I…I do understand what you're trying to do. I do. But trusting a demon is wrong and dangerous and nothing is gonna make me like it."

"If we get lucky and are smart, it could be all over in a couple of weeks Dean."

"It's never going to be over Sam. Not for me. After Dad left, I thought it would be over when we found him. Then I thought it would be over if we could just kill the yellow-eyed demon and I could keep you safe. Hell, I died and it wasn't over. I'm tired Sam. I want to rest; no more demons, no more apocalypse, no more of this responsibility on my shoulders, and most of all no more memories."

"Dean, it will eventually be over and we can just be brothers again. We'll stop the apocalypse. Then we can both rest."

"I don't think it will be that easy Sammy."

"You call this easy?"

Dean snorted. He began prying the tape off of the side of the box. In a voice almost too low for Sam to hear, he asked, "Did she show up?"

"Yeah."

"Learn anything?"

"Nothing that we didn't already suspect."

Dean barely nodded. He opened the box and looked at the pie. "Man, this smells great. I'm gonna go have a piece. I'll even be generous and let you have one," he said with forced brightness.

Sam, playing along, forced a small laugh. "What do you mean you'll let me have a piece? I bought the pie."

"But it's my pie. Come on." Dean slapped Sam on the shoulder as he rose and slipped into the house. Sam was right behind him. In the kitchen, he made a production of getting the pie out of the box and cutting two wedges. The sounds coming out of his mouth while chewing were not sounds that would normally be heard in a kitchen. He was trying hard to make Sam smile. He succeeded.

Sam dug into the pie with gusto. They ate and talked about nothing more important than the various pies they had eaten over the years, including a horrible mock apple pie that Sam had tried to cook as part of a home economics assignment in high school. Dean smiled and joked with his brother and then excused himself to hit the sack, leaving Sam to clean up the kitchen and put the rest of the pie away.

It was only after his brother had gone that Sam realized Dean had barely eaten half of his piece. He sighed and found that he couldn't get parts of their earlier conversation out of his head.

"_It will eventually be over and we can just be brothers again."_

"_It'll never be over Sam."_

tbc


	4. Chapter 4

Much thanks again to Insane Troll Logic for editing and suggestions. Much thanks also to those who have reviewed or alerted this story. I greatly appreciate it.

As always, no copyright infringement is intended.

Better to Reign

_God at once sent the angels, Senoy, Sansenoy and Semangelof to fetch Lilith back…. _Hebrew Myths- The Book of Genesis

Chapter 4

The next morning found the men drinking coffee and making plans. It was decided that even if Lilith didn't approach the Seal in this Devil's Gate this solstice, they would go ahead and repair the pentagram that warded the cemetery and crypt. It would protect one of the Seals from a future attempt to break it.

It was Sam who came up with the idea of using Goggle maps to visualize the pentagram made of railroad tracks that surrounded the crypt in Wyoming. Even if they couldn't get a good enough view to find out where the break was, it might eliminate miles and miles of track.

It was Bobby's job to obtain the several yards of consecrated iron chains to make the repairs. Not as easy as it sounds. He would also be taking welding tools and anything else that they might need to jury-rig a repair. He figured lashing chains and a D-hook would do it. Since that was all he was going to be able to scavenge, it had better.

Dean was left to record the exorcism.

They left for Wyoming two days later.

They stopped at the next closest town to the cemetery thinking that if there were demons converging on the crypt, they could avoid them.

Sam's research had eliminated almost seventy percent of the pentagram as having a break. That still left many, many miles that had to be walked. Bobby and Dean drew the short straw and set out with maps and sturdy shoes the next morning. Once the breach was found, they would acquire an ATV to haul the equipment out to do the quick-fix.

Sam decided to gather research. That meant meeting with Ruby.

Sam called the demon after he was certain that neither Bobby nor Dean would be showing up back at the motel unexpectedly. Ruby arrived half an hour later. There was no small talk, she got straight to business.

"I found out that Lilith is coming. She will be at the crypt on the solstice. There are already several demons in the closest town to prepare the way."

"Good. We're on the right track then."

"Oh, yes. You're going to fail spectacularly but you'll be in the right place when it happens. You're not ready, Sam. You need to practice and then take on Lilith."

"No powers, Ruby. We have a plan."

"We have a plan or Dean has a plan? Speaking of Dean, does he know I'm here?"

Sam looked away for only a second but it was enough to answer Ruby's question. "Big brother's still not happy that you're still seeing me, is he? You're hiding things from him and lying to him. I can see what that's doing to you.

"You're feeling guilty over things for which you have no guilt. You're doing the best you can and making a difference where you can, fixing things you can fix. Sam, Dean came back from Hell broken. You can't fix him. He's holding you back. How many people could you have saved from possession in these last few months if you had just used what God didn't stop from being given to you? You've proved that you don't need him—not the way he thinks he needs you."

"Stop! You don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't I? I know what Hell does to a person. It breaks you and then you become a demon. Your brother was rescued after he broke but before he was turned but he's still broken and he knows he's broken. I also know what you're capable of and how many demons we exorcised; how much good we were doing.

"I get that you feel like you owe your brother but don't you also owe it to all the people that you could save, to save them?"

Sam crossed his arms and shook his head. "The angels…"

"The angels are losing, Sam. Just think about it, that's all I'm asking. When you realized I'm right, let me know and we'll get back to hunting things and saving people."

She watched his face and saw him weakening but decided not to push at the cracks just yet. "Can you at least save one person? I've captured one of Lilith's demons. You can question her and then destroy her. If you just exorcise her, she'll go back to Hell and Lilith will know that you're here."

"Ruby, you shouldn't have done that."

"What, Sam, given you a potential advantage?"

Sam chewed his lip and thought. "All right, where is she? But just this once, no more."

Ruby nodded trying to hide her smile.

The demon didn't tell them anything. It died and the girl it had been possessing lived. It felt good to know that he had saved someone. Better than the flash of guilt he felt whenever he caught despair mirrored in Dean's eyes when his brother thought no one was looking. Much better than the suspicion his brother turned his way whenever he said he was going out by himself—even if he had earned it.

Sam really wanted to feel useful, even if it was just for a while. Ruby was right about one thing, he thought, he wasn't doing Dean any good but that didn't mean he couldn't do any good.

xxxxxxxxxx

The tracks only had one break but it was a bad one; the rail snapped and curled back on itself. Bobby just shook his head when he saw it. He would weld the chain to one side and the corresponding hook on the other. The chain could be hooked or unhooked as needed, to let a demon in or to keep demons out. It wasn't a permanent solution for the protection of the crypt but it would do in a pinch. It was going to be a two man job and he decided to make Dean carry the acetylene torch and needed materials. It would give the boy something to do besides brood.

It was on the way back to where he was suppose to meet Dean, who'd walked in the opposite direction checking track, that he met the demon. Of course, he didn't know it was a demon at first, though he thought it odd that anyone else would be out walking the line. However, when its eyes turned black and it threw him into a tree, he figured it out pretty quickly.

The demon wearing a hiker walked toward Bobby with a smirk. It reached down and lifted him from the ground where he had fallen. Dazed, Bobby scrambled to reach into his jacket pocket for his hip flask of Holy water. The demon grabbed his throat. Bobby began to unscrew the cap. The edges of his vision turned black. The demon's grip tightened. Bobby couldn't draw a breath. He flung the contents of the flask upward, catching the demon in the face. It screamed and its grip loosened. Bobby fell. He landed wrong. His vision that had been turning black, flashed white with sudden pain. He lost several seconds as he tried to struggle to his feet, one hand on the tree to brace himself. He readied himself for a fight, calling the Latin exorcism to his tongue and reaching behind his back for his weapon.

When he could finally see clearly, the first thing he saw was Dean. He was standing and panting, looking down at a body on the ground, holding a knife dripping blood—Ruby's knife.

Dean looked up and caught Bobby's eye. "You okay?"

Bobby lifted his cap and ran his hand over his head before replacing it. The action gave him a moment to take an inventory and to cover his slight shakiness as the adrenaline ebbed. "Mostly. Think I sprained my ankle. Not sure how bad."

Dean nodded. "Have a seat. I'll check it as soon as I get rid of the body." He wiped the knife on the hiker's jacket and then rummaged in the coat and pocket looking for identification. There was nothing. He looked around for someplace to hide the body, deciding to come back and burn it after he got Bobby squared away. He grabbed the lifeless hands, his skin crawling at the contact. A wince of pain escaped before he could cover it and he stood back up abruptly.

"What about you, you all right?" Bobby asked, concerned.

"I'm fine. Bastard caught me hard in the ribs with his elbow when I got him in the back."

"Those things pack a wallop, it broken?"

Dean fingered his ribs tentatively. "Nah, just bruised, I think."

He bent back down, carefully, and dragged the body off a ways, hiding it in bramble and throwing leaves and branches over it. He took another branch and swept it across the tell tale marks dragging the body made. When he finished he went back and bent down to see Bobby's ankles. He didn't need to ask which one was hurt. He could see it swelling over the rim of his boot. The boot already looked so tight that he wondered if they would need to cut it off when they got Bobby back to the room.

"It's going to be a long walk back to your truck." Dean said causally while shifting his shoulder under Bobby's arm to give him support.

Bobby grunted but agreed to the help without a fuss. He'd learned long ago to accept honest help honestly offered. Something he figured the Winchesters were still working on.

Sam was was waiting in the room when Bobby and Dean pulled up. He heard the truck and glanced out the window. Seeing Dean getting out of the driver's side and going around to help Bobby out, Sam rushed outside.

"Bobby?"

"I'm fine. We just had a little run in with a demon, sprained my ankle with a bad landing. Help your brother get me inside so I can get it iced and wrapped."

He caught the key to Bobby's motel room door and hurriedly opened it as Dean assisted Bobby inside. He then ran to the Impala and got the first aid kit from the trunk. By the time he got back, Bobby was seated on the side of the bed with Dean kneeling at his right foot, studying his boot like it was some kind of interesting puzzle.

Sam sat the first aid kit by Dean and then took the ice bucket and headed for the ice machine. He walked back into an argument.

"These are my favorite boots. I don't want you cutting them up!"

"Well if this is one of your favorite ankles, I'm going to have to cut the boot off. Your ankle's swollen so badly the boot's not coming off unless I cut if off."

"Cut the damn laces."

"Shoot," Dean grinned, "you remembered the laces."

Bobby leaned over and smacked Dean upside the head. "Smart ass. Just get on with it."

Dean took out his favorite knife and cut the laces, and then smoothly pulled the boot off. He didn't offer any sympathy when Bobby grunted in pain. He gently probed the ankle to make sure it was just a bad sprain. "Sam, we still have any witch hazel in the kit? If we do, take it to the bathroom and soak the ace bandage in it. It'll help with the swelling."

Sam came back into the bedroom with the bandage damp but not dripping and handed it to his brother.

"Sam, after your brother finishes wrapping up my ankle, check his ribs. He took a pretty good hit. Said they were only bruised but you know what that means, it's either really just bruised or broken and punctured a lung. Seeing how he's breathing okay, not likely to have hit anything vital but you check him anyway."

"Dean?" Sam started toward his brother in concern.

"Sam, really, I'm fine."

"Bruised?"

"I've had enough to know, so yeah, just a bruise."

Sam nodded, accepting his brother at his word, at least until he could check for himself. "So a demon?"

Despite some discreet looking around, no more demons were identified in the small town where they were staying. It was decided to check out the town closest to the cemetery as well. Again there were no obvious indications of possession. Of course if the demons were laying low, they would never identify them. Lilith may or may not know that they were there. They didn't know for certain the demon that attacked Bobby was with her, though it seemed likely. They didn't know if she would change her plans if he didn't contact her.

Sam didn't mention that Lilith was missing two demons.

They decided to proceed with the plan. Bobby would stay with the break; due to his sprained ankle he needed a stationary job. After Sam sent him a signal that Lilith was inside the pentagram at the crypt, he would seal the breach so no other demons, other than those that came with her, could enter. It might also keep Lilith from getting back out. Sam and Dean would be hiding close to the crypt. When Lilith appeared there…well that was where things got a little iffy. Basically they would be playing it by ear and leaving it up to luck. Sam would have liked a better plan. He didn't trust the Winchester's version of luck.

He would rather trust himself.

That night Dean woke from a nightmare with Sam's name on his lips. Sam pretended to be sleeping, pretended not to hear. The following night would be the solstice.

In the morning Dean and Bobby would weld the consecrated chain and D-hook to the tracks.

Sam woke before his brother. Actually, he had never gone back to sleep after being awakened by Dean's nightmare. It may have been Ruby that put the idea in his head but it was the nightmare that decided him on his course of action, the way Sam's name had sounded like a plea. As if Dean were begging Sam to what? Sam tortured himself all night with that question.

Sam had been pondering what Ruby had said to him and realized that he wasn't helping anyone the way things stood. Not only was he not helping his brother but he was hurting him. That was something that he'd never meant to do. Dean was trying to cling to the past. Sam was concerned about both of their futures. If his brother couldn't see that, then the only thing to do would be to try to make everything as easy and painless as possible. After it was all over, there would be time and Dean would forgive him. Although he doubted Ruby, his powers and the wisdom of what he was going to do, that he did not doubt. Dean always forgave him.

Dean was first to the shower that morning. He came out rubbing his wet hair with a towel, his jeans riding low on his hips, the top snap undone.

Sam sat quietly on the bed watching. Now might not be the best time to bring it up and he knew he was going to be blindsiding his brother but no matter what happened tonight, things were going to have to be different. His brother had a right to know that he was leaving.

"Dean, you sleep good last night?"

Dean looked exasperated, either with the question or with him, Sam didn't know which. "Course I did, why?"

"You had another nightmare. Want to tell me about it?"

Dean stilled, his face a neutral mask. "Don't really remember it."

Sam sighed.

"Dean, this isn't working out. The time you were gone, we both changed. I don't think things can ever go back to being the way they were and I'm not sure I want them to. You're always upset with me and I'm always feeling guilty for doing what I think is right, for turning a curse into something that, while it might not be good, isn't evil."

"Sam, what are you talking about? You're that upset because I can't remember some dream?"

"You're miserable, Dean. I don't want to be the cause of that anymore. I also don't want to give up an advantage, the only advantage we might have. I think, after we take care of this Seal, that we'd be better off splitting up for a while; not forever, just a few months."

"Like maybe four months, Sam?" Dean retorted angrily.

"Dean, don't start. This is for the best. My presence won't be constantly reminding you of your time in Hell and I won't have to choose between stopping the demons and hurting you."

"You don't think your leaving won't…" Dean swallowed convulsively, looking down until he was certain that his emotions were contained. "It's that bitch, Ruby, isn't it? What's she been telling you? That you should be out exorcising demons with your mind, stepping up and taking your place at the head of a demon army, that you're the best thing since sliced bread. She's filling your head with lies and crap and you're buying every word of it. Tell me you aren't planning on meeting up with her when you run off."

"I'm not running off! I'm just going to go fight my battles my way."

"And you trust her to watch your back? More than you trust me?" Dean's voice had gone beyond hot with anger to ice cold.

"I don't trust her more than you. I'm not certain I trust her at all--but she'll watch my back. Hell, she's saved my life."

"She's saved your life, Sam. Well, I certainly can't top that, can I?"

"Dean…"

"She gonna keep the angels off your back too?"

"They won't find me." Sam was digging in and getting stubborn.

Dean shook his head and muttered under his breath, "I won't stop him, I can't, don't ask me to." He looked up at his brother. "Sam, don't go. I don't want you to."

He looked his brother in the eye, secretly hoping that Sam would say he was just joking. Sam didn't. Sam said nothing. Dean grabbed a shirt and didn't even bother pulling it over his head. "I'm gonna go over and check on Bobby. We'll go repair the rails for the pentagram. I'll meet you at sundown at the crypt. You will be there won't you?"

"Of course. I'm not leaving until this job is over. If we manage to get Lilith and the colt, maybe I won't need to go at all."

Dean probably didn't hear the last part as he was already out the door and slamming it behind him.

Sam thought he had felt guilty sneaking around behind Dean's back. What he felt now didn't even compare.

Dean picked Bobby up a cheap crutch at the local drug store to help him get around. He loaded up the ATV with welding equipment, chain, food, water and Bobby and took off. He was in a black mood and Bobby wasn't fool enough to ask what was going on. Besides, he knew that the only thing that could affect Dean like that was Sam.

They worked in silence and had the job done by noon. That left way too many hours to do nothing but think. Out of nowhere, Dean suddenly said, "He's leaving again. After this job, Sam intends to take off."

Bobby grimaced. This wasn't totally unexpected, at least by him. No matter how strong the bond, put enough stress on it and something would have to give. "He say why?"

Dean shook his head and kicked viciously at a rock. "Nothing that made any sense."

Dean looked at Bobby, face open and desperate. "What am I supposed to do?"

Bobby gave a soul weary sigh. "The best you can, son, the best you can."

Bobby stayed by the repair to guard the work and to seal the breach at the correct time. They had checked and there was signal so Sam would text him on a cell to let him know when to close the pentagram. Dean would leave the ATV for Bobby to use. Sam would have the Impala hidden close to the cemetery.

The walk from the tracks to the cemetery didn't take nearly as long as he wanted it to. Dean decided that when he saw his brother he would pretend like the whole sorry conversation never happened. He arrived well before sunset. The last time he was here was the last time that he had seen his father. He had killed the yellow-eyed demon with his dad's help. His dad had seemed proud of him before he stepped into the light. Dean had always wondered if his dad knew about his deal. If he was as proud of him for saving Sam as he seemed to be for killing the demon. He decided that John might not have been proud but he would have understood.

He walked slowly to the crypt, that whole night replaying itself in his mind: Jake arriving with the colt and using it as a key to open the gate, Ellen pointing her gun at her own head, Sam shooting Jake, the gate opening, demons being released and his father. It was worth the gate being opened for his father to walk out of Hell. Dad made it out on his own, he thought, I needed a freaking angel to grip me tight and raise me from perdition. Dean never thought that he measured up when he compared himself to his father. His dad was gone now, for good, and Sam....

Dean grabbed the golden talisman that he had made to protect himself from Lilith's power. He held it so tightly that the corner began to cut into his hand. He stared at the crypt for a long time before lifting it over his head.

xxxxxxxxxx

Sam had most of the day to himself. It was a long day, giving him time to think and doubt his decision, or at least doubt his timing. Ruby showed up at his motel room around noon.

She said she would be at the cemetery to provide what help she could and to clean up the bloody mess if things went really wrong. She told him he had made the right decision and that someday Dean would understand it. Sam knew he wouldn't.

Sam arrived at the cemetery at dusk. He parked the Impala where it had been parked almost a year and a half ago. He saw Dean staring at the crypt. He didn't bring up their conversation of the morning and neither did his brother. He hadn't expected him to.

The Devil's trap was spray painted in dark brown paint on the dry, hard earth and covered in a thin layer of dirt and leaves. The tape player with the pre-recorded exorcism was secreted behind a tombstone.

The Winchester had hours to wait until they thought Lilith would arrive. They hid behind the same tombstones as the last time they were here.

The hardest thing about hunting wasn't the minutes of adrenaline rushing action where the wrong move could get you killed. It was the hours of boredom before the adrenaline rush.

The cemetery was illuminated by an old dusk to dawn light. It cast deep shadows.

Lilith arrived around midnight with only one other demon. Sam sent the text to Bobby so he could close the pentagram. If any other demons were on their way, they wouldn't get in. And Lilith couldn't get out, probably.

Lilith was wearing a preteen girl with long blond hair and sky blue eyes. She looked sweet and innocent. It was a good disguise. She was holding the hand of a demon wearing a middle aged, matronly looking woman carrying a large purse. Mother and daughter.

They walked toward the crypt. Several feet away, Lilith said something and the other demon reached into the purse and drew out the colt. Both approached the crypt. Lilith stepped into the Devil's trap and stopped abruptly. She stared at the ground then twirled around, her skirts flying. She called, "Come out, come out, wherever you are" and slowly walked back out of the trap. The other demon tried to follow but could not pass through.

"Something like that won't hold something like me, silly. Now where are you?"

Dean caught Sam's eye from where they were hiding and shrugged. They had to depend on Ruby's knife and the exorcism now. Sam shook his head frantically but Dean ignored him and stood up.

"Looking for me bitch? Just remember, I killed the last demon I met in this cemetery. I'm looking to go two and oh."

"Dean? I'm surprised you're here. Is your brother here too? Strange, I can't feel him. That witch must have been being bad again, handing out hex bags when she shouldn't. Oh, well, I'll take care of her later." With a motion, Dean flew backward into a tombstone.

"Dean!" Sam shouted, rising from his hiding place. Another motion from Lilith and Sam flew backward into a tree. He hit his head so hard that the dark night went even blacker and he passed out. A few minutes later he was back. There was none of the disorientation that he usually felt after waking up from a concussion. He knew immediately where he was and what was going on. He saw Lilith squatting down beside his brother, running one hand down his face as if petting him. Her face was in shadow. Dean was staring her in the eye and was wearing a cocky grin but was breathing fast. Sam knew his brother well enough to know that he was putting on a brave face but was slowly losing it. The sweet looking little girl terrified him.

That terrified Sam.

"Dean, Dean, I've missed you so much. You were such fun to play with," Lilith practically crooned. There was blood on his brother's face but Sam couldn't see from where it was coming. Lilith took the gun and rolled the barrel roughly in the blood, causing Dean to grunt.

"You leave him alone!" Sam screamed. He struggled against unseen bonds.

Lilith turned innocent blue eyes on the younger Winchester. "Do you want to play too? All the demons liked to play with Dean. Every demon you exorcised while he was in Hell got in line, every single one. You should ask Ruby how much fun Dean was, how pretty he looked with his insides on the outside. Will you be that much fun Sam?"

"What do you mean I should ask Ruby?" Sam asked with trepidation.

Lilith tilted her head and looked at him quizzically. "How do you think she got me to trust her again? She had to play with us—me and Dean. She played so rough, she enjoyed it so much. I thought she was going to be a good girl this time but she wasn't, was she. She lied to me. I trusted her and she lied to me. I let her out again and she left and betrayed me. I don't think I'm going to let her play with Dean anymore when she comes back."

Sam swallowed back bile. Ruby had tortured Dean in Hell and Sam had been…with her, listening to her. He might have well have been torturing Dean himself.

Lilith turned back to the crypt and walked toward it, bloody barrel pointed toward the hidden opening. She stopped and lowered the gun. "Oh, Dean, you've been a bad, bad boy." Her little girl voice could not contain the fury of the demon. Affixed to the door of the crypt was the talisman. She would not be able to open the gate and break the Seal. She turned angrily to Dean and made a slashing motion with her hand. Blood began to spill down his shirt as if his chest were opened with a large knife. She made the motion again and another line of blood appeared.

Dean held back a scream of pain as best he could. Lilith smiled.

Sam saw the blood and heard the aborted scream. He heard Dean begin to whisper under his breath, his head bowed as if he were too tired to lift it. He screamed, "Dean!" and struggled against Lilith's hold. He opened his mind to try to call the demon Lilith out of her host.

Lilith started toward Dean, curious as to what he was saying. She felt the pull that Sam was exerting and walked toward him instead, smiling. "What are you trying, Sam? Do you think you're strong enough for that to work on me? You are going to be fun, maybe as much fun as your brother." She raised her hand and extended it toward Sam. Her eyes flashed white. Not the white of purity but the white of decay and corruption: maggot white. Nothing happened. She sighed, "Azazel chose his children well. You can't use his legacy on me but I can't use mine on you. Guess I'll just have to disembowel you the old fashion way."

Suddenly Dean screamed, "Senoy, Sansenov and Semangelof! Close your eyes, Sam! Close your eyes!"

A warm wind began to blow, first gently but quickly growing in strength until it was whipping the leaves scattered on the ground into a wild dance. A spot of bright, almost incandescent light began to glow in the east. There was a sound, almost like white noise that grew to ear shattering volume. Sam closed his eyes. He heard Lilith scream, "No, no, you can't!"

Time passed, the breeze died. The invisible bonds that bound him to the tree were gone and Sam fell forward, stumbling to his knees. He opened his eyes. Before him lay a little girl, her arm stretched out, the colt lying beside it. Beyond her lay the matronly woman. Neither was moving. He scrambled toward the child and put his fingers to her neck. There was a pulse. He grabbed the gun and shoved it into the waist of his jeans.

He turned to his brother. He lay slumped against the headstone. There was so much blood. It ran in a red stream from Dean's chest to pool on the ground. It reminded Sam of the cabin where the yellow-eyed demon possessed their father. How the demon had slashed Dean and made him bleed. Slashed him like he had their mother and Jess. He checked his bother's pulse. It was erratic and fast. "Dean, Dean, wake up!"

He gathered his brother in his arms to carry him to the Impala. Dean needed a hospital immediately.

"What are you doing, Sam?" Ruby appeared as if by magic. "Lilith is weakened, if we go after her now, we can beat her."

"Dean's hurt. He needs a hospital." Sam continued to carry his brother toward the road where he had parked the car. Dean felt lighter than he should have but Sam still stumbled, suddenly dizzy.

"The angels will take care of him. Castiel pulled him out of Hell; you don't think he can get him to a hospital?" She said moving in front of him.

Sam stopped momentarily and stared at her before shouldering his way past. "Why didn't you tell me you saw Dean in Hell? That you tortured him?"

"I told you that you didn't want to know what I had to do to get Lilith to trust me again so I could get out. You knew we were there at the same time. You never asked. I think you suspected but didn't want to know the truth because you might not be able to rationalize that with your precious self-righteousness. Well, it's time to step up to the plate and make a choice--Dean or saving this earth by using what you were given and becoming a weapon that can take out Lilith.

"She's close, Sam, and weakened. We could end this, if not today then soon."

Sam kept walking, his brother becoming a heavier burden with each step. He thought about going with Ruby, God help him, he actually thought about it. The nausea he felt had nothing to do with the concussion he had received earlier.

"I'm taking Dean to the hospital, Ruby. I couldn't save him from Hell but this is something I can do for him. This and one other thing…I don't want to see you anymore. I told you I was done with using the power and now, I'm done with you." He walked away; starting to struggle under the weight of his brother but feeling a lot lighter himself.

Ruby looked at him in disbelief. She didn't follow.


	5. Chapter 5

As always, much thanks to Insane Troll Logic. I greatly appreciate the editing and suggestions. Thanks also to all those who put the story on their alert list and reviewed it.

No copyright infringement is intended.

Better to Reign

_By mercy and truth iniquity is purged --_Proverbs 16:6

Chapter 5/Epilogue

Sam couldn't remember the mad rush to the hospital or even exactly how he found it. Getting Dean to the hospital was a blur but every single minute that he sat in the waiting area for the emergency room was engraved in his memory.

With Dean's blood drying stiff on his shirt and jacket, he looked as if he should be the one behind the doors and the other people in the room had given him a wide berth. Consequently, Sam sat alone on one side of the waiting area.

There had been no word about Dean since he was rushed behind the doors, barely breathing, more than an hour ago. Sam could still see his brother's grey complexion. He was certain Dean had been dying when he carried him into the hospital. He was terrified of losing his brother again. He shut his eyes against tears when he thought that only that morning he had told Dean he was leaving. Now he just hoped that Dean wouldn't be the one leaving. He would give anything…

Sam clasped his hands together in front of him but couldn't summon the words of a prayer for his brother. The words to an exorcism he could summon instantly but he couldn't begin a prayer to beg for his brother's life. How, screwed up was that?

"Pray, Samuel, that our Father will heal the wounds of both flesh and spirit."

Sam startled slightly at the unexpected voice. Castiel sat beside him. Sam felt an unaccountable flash of anger at the angel. Where was Castiel when Lilith was bleeding his brother? "Aren't you afraid to sit beside me?" he said somewhat bitterly. "The boy with the demon blood?"

Castiel canted his head to the side and intently looked into Sam's eyes. "Except for parts of the brain, the cells in the human body renew themselves every seven to ten years. The blood Azazel gave you opened you to his influence, marked you so he could always find you and prepared a pathway to unholy power--but it is no longer a part of you. You _were_ the boy with demon blood but now you are a man who must chose between right and wrong, just like any other man. I hesitated to take your hand because you had been consorting with a demon; not because of what had been done to you when you were an infant but because of what you had done as an adult. However, when you choose your brother over getting revenge, love over hate, you began to redeem yourself."

Sam looked away quickly, a flush of shame briefly coloring his face. He gathered his courage and looked back at the angel. "Is he going to live?"

"I can not see the future but I have faith."

"If you're not going to save him, why are you here?"

"I am here to wait, to watch and to give comfort to whom will take it. There is an Angel of Death in these halls and I would bid my sister pass your brother by."

"A reaper? Is it here for Dean?" Sam said, fighting his fear. Death was not a supernatural entity. It could not be exorcised or warded against.

Castiel stared straight ahead, his eyes fixed on nothing. "This one has met your brother on two other occasions and knows him well." He tilted his head as if listening to a voice. "She says that your brother has not accomplished his allotted days nor is his job completed. He has more than earned his rest but will not go to it today."

What the angel said slowly sunk in and Sam felt a quiet rush of relief. He heard a sound behind the double doors and quickly glanced toward them in hopes of seeing a doctor coming out to talk to him. The doors did not open. "So, he's going to be all right?" he asked hopefully, turning his head to look back at Castiel.

The angel was gone.

A white coated man of middle years and a receding hairline walked out of the double doors through which they had taken Dean. "Mr. Idol?"

Sam stood quickly and hurried over to the doctor. "How's my brother? Is he going to be all right?"

The doctor shook his head for a second, as if clearing his thoughts, and Sam's stomach plummeted. The doctor took in his stricken expression and quickly corrected his misconception. "Your brother is stable and should eventually be fine. When he was brought in, he was in hypovolemic shock due to blood loss. We had to give him ten units to stabilize him. Still there doesn't appear to be any organ damage due to blood loss and he's breathing on his own. He is amazingly lucky in that regard. The curious thing is that we couldn't find any wounds on his body. We were getting prepped for surgery to repair the damage before we realized that…it was as if the blood in his body was just pulled out. Neither I nor the rest of the staff in the OR have seen anything like it before. I have no way to explain it. In fact, other than a broken rib, we can't find anything besides blood loss wrong with him. You said you just found him this way?"

"Yes. We had gone for a walk out by cemetery road. He went one direction and I went another. When he didn't meet me where we said we would meet, I went looking for him. I found him covered in blood and rushed him here as fast as I could."

"Strange, very strange," the doctor said distractedly, as if trying to explain the mystery rationally.

"Can I see my brother now?" Sam pleaded, getting the physician's attention again.

"Yes, of course, we're moving him now. The nurse at the desk can tell you what room he'll be in. He should be monitored for a day to two just to make sure there won't be any problems and that we didn't miss anything. He is sedated and is probably still asleep but there's no reason that you can't sit with him."

Sam was running down the hall before the doctor had stopped talking.

Consciousness returned in easy stages. Dean first became aware of softly spoken words, "… is going to be fine, Bobby." Then he wasn't aware of anything for a while. Gradually he realized he was laying down. Next he became aware of pain; his head was pounding with one of the worse headaches ever and there was a sharp stitch in his side when he drew in a breath. Then there was darkness again. When he next became aware, he saw Sam's worried face inches from his own. He just stared; his mind not yet engaged enough to joke with his brother about personal space.

"Dean?"

"Sammy."

Sam sat back in his chair with a sigh of relief. "The doctor said you would be fine but you've been out of it for hours. I was starting to worry."

"If you're just now starting to worry, Sam, then your timing sucks." Dean's voice was raspy and Sam handed him a cup of ice chips to wet his mouth and throat.

"What happened? I don't really remember much after I finished that incantation."

"Prayer, Dean, a prayer of protection and it worked. After you called on the three angels, they showed up. The Seal is safe. When the angels came, Lilith left her girl suit and ran. She got away but she dropped the colt. We have the gun back."

"The little girl?"

"She's alive, probably traumatized but alive. So is the woman. Bobby took them to the police station. He's going to say that he was out running on the ATV trails and found 'em in the woods. He'll be here to see you as soon as all the red tape is tied up."

Dean shifted his gaze from his brother to almost anywhere else. His eyes roamed around the room without really touching on anything before he closed them. "I thought you would be gone--off with Ruby."

"I...I thought about it…for like two seconds. Why didn't you tell me that Ruby tortured you while you were in Hell?" Sam asked softly.

"I didn't remember. There were a lot of demons wielding the blades, especially in the beginning. I was lucky to remember my own name; no way was I going to be able to remember every evil son of a bitch who took a piece of me."

"I sent Ruby away."

"Thanks," Dean whispered.

"Don't thank me; I didn't do it for you. I did it for me. Being around her was turning me into someone I didn't like."

Sam sighed heavily. "After I found out that Dad told you to save me or you might have to kill me, I was obsessed with killing every supernatural thing that I could so I could save myself.

"After I found out about your deal, I became obsessed with saving you.

"After you died and I couldn't get you back, I became obsessed with revenge and killing Lilith.

"After you came back, I was still obsessed. I lied to you, did things you asked me not to do. I thought the end would justify everything and that after I killed Lilith, I could make it up to you.

"I kept thinking that after this was over, we could just be brothers again, not a demon's boy king or a hunter pulled from Hell by an angel. Seeing you bleeding out, I realized I can't wait for this to be over to make things right between us."

"Sammy, you don't…"

"No, Dean, let me finish. I chose a demon over you. I don't know what I was thinking."

"You were thinking that you were saving people. That you were trying to stop the apocalypse."

"No, Dean, I was thinking that I knew more than you and the angels; I was thinking I was the only one that knew what was right. It was just like with Dad all over again. I wanted to do what I wanted to do and found a way to justify it. For someone who's supposed to be so smart, I can sure act like an idiot.

"Anyway, I want to say I'm sorry. I truly am. I was doing things to separate us instead of bringing us together as brothers. I forgot what you told me, hell, what you show me everyday--we're stronger as a family. I won't forget it again. I promise. No more Ruby. No more tempting fate by using Azazel's powers. No more sneaking off in the middle of the night…"

"Unless it's to meet a hot chick, Sammy, sneaking off for that's always fine…unless she's a demon…or a vampire, shape shifter, werewolf or a succubus. We're Winchesters, Sam; we have to have some standards." Dean tried to lighten the mood, uncomfortable with his brother's admission and apology but he sobered quickly. "We won today, Sammy. We might not win tomorrow but we won today and we didn't need Ruby to do it. We just needed each other."

"Yeah, Dean, we won," Sam said quietly.

"Don't worry, Sammy, it'll all work out," Dean promised as his eyes slid closed. "Everything's going to be okay."

It was the same promise that he had been making to his family for as long as he could remember.

Sam sat beside his brother until Dean's breathing became deep and even. He remembered the number of times he'd had his brother's blood on his hands. He thought about all of his brother's sacrifices for him. He remembered his brother's broken confessions about Hell. He compared them to his own broken promises. He remembered the heady feeling of strength and control over his own fate when he used the power.

The apocalypse was coming, Seals were being broken. There were always hard choices made in times of war. Looking back, Sam realized that he and Dean had been making hard choices all of their lives.

He whispered, "Everything is not okay, and maybe it never will be again, but we'll still be brothers. No matter what happens or what I have to do, I won't forget that again. I promise."

End


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